My mind was clear now, quite a lot. The suffocation that I felt in my chest had gone. Fatigue too had receded away slowly. No signs of nausea. What could this sudden eventual betterment was not known but I felt relieved.
It all began with the stretching time, staring at my computer screen, doing some work that only a minute atom of mine was interested in. Trying to do multitasking I just grasped onto work here and there, unable to finish even one properly while trying to do it all together. It was an everyday thing.
My friend pinged me to call for a cup of tea. I got up and walked towards the door, feeling being dragged and tired at the same time. It was six, a normal time to have tea. The pantry was full of people as usual. I called up my mom, told her about the strange symptoms that held onto me. She suggested going out for a walk. While on the way, my friend discussed her issues and I did mine. While it was me initially giving all the pieces of advice and suggestions I could gather up, I didn’t feel even slightest relief and my condition worsened. I felt irritated, suffocated as if the oxygen was unable to reach my lungs. I breathed fully filling them up with as much air as possible but to no avail.
Even during all this I was able to talk to her. No, it wasn’t any disease that I suffered from, but my mind felt somewhat clogged like a dirt filled sink. I didn’t think of anything, I couldn’t yet it felt heavy.
Ok, so amidst all this drama, my friend came up with a weird topic, a thought of hers, she didn’t refrain from mentioning went like this.
“Imagine the huge entrance of our office building as your home entrance.”
“Huh! I am no Ambani, common!”
“No, just imagine for some time”, she said.
And as we entered back into the building, she demonstrated everything from the high ceiling and bright lights up there as that of my house. The lifts that followed in our path would lead to different floors in your house. She then pointed to the parking area gate where I would keep my collection of cars. My floor, the place where my cubicle was turned into the living room and suddenly the things started changing around me. The ceiling lights looked like a nostalgic piece of my hypothetical house. The glass door that read pull suddenly glittered and welcomed me. I imagined all the cubicles gone and sofas spread across the stretch of our work floor.
No, I was not on drugs but it seemed superficial. The red carpet lining, across the floor, the small meeting rooms attached across the corridors, which she mentioned to as each having its own significance. I imagined each one as a place to play chess, another to meditate, one to mingle up with family, the pantry turned to refreshment room. I imagined people passing by and wishing me warmly. Amidst all this my friend questioned me,
“What if you get a life like that?”
I smiled as if she had cracked a senseless baseless joke.
“I don’t want all this. Such a huge house, it would be so difficult to meet our family! Everyone would be just so dispersed up! I would give it off to a person in need and leave all this to lead a simple life.”
“No, you can’t do that, would you?”
“See more valuable the thing more complexities it carries”, I explained, “Like a cycle, would have problems like a flat tire, chain coming off and if I have a car it would invite more trouble like engine problems apart from a flat tire or probably something more complicated.”
“But that doesn’t mean you won’t own one! Just think about it, you have all this.”
I literally went back to my dream home again, standing at my floor, hanging my hand off some cubicle and letting my imagination sprint.
“Ok”, I concluded, “So I won’t leave all this, I won’t be able to but I would be good and do well to people, to whichever extent I can.”
“Yes! If you have a car, then you can at least give your cycle to someone, but if you just a cycle, you can do nothing but keep it to yourself right?”
“No I can break it into two, probably make a pair of unicycle out of it and give it to someone.”
And we ended up laughing!